ultimate celebs

Lindsay Lohan is a woman who is serious about her accessories. Even her notebook has to make some kind of a bold statement--and it does. I like to imagine that it's her diary, which quite frankly is deservedly dressed in a shocking pink tiger print--made from the mini-skirts of dead Vegas prostitutes. And seriously, why should it have a lock on it, when she lives her life so publicly? But seriously, with all the public backlash against the troubled starlet, she still has her supporters. Christian Slater and George Clooney chatted about how they feel for Lindsay, and that they can sympathize with her struggles in the spotlight. According to Christian:

"Had (Clooney) been discovered at the age of 20, and had to go through whatever he's had to go through in his life in the public eye at that age... as he said to me: 'Jesus Christ, I'm certainly grateful that I didn't have to do that. I mean, the guy was 35 when he went on ER."

Seriously, every photo of this broad looks like the cover of a Vivid video. She always looks like she just got jammed from behind as the flash goes off. I'm all for embracing your sexuality, but she looks like she might smell like a coin-operated peep show booth. But way to take that large and used ass to the top, Kim! Here's pics of Kim Kardashian and the rest of her family at Kim's 27st birthday party at Les Deux in L.A. It's shocking that the cake isn't a penis cake from an erotic bakery. And did you know Chyna was her sister?

Photos: Getty Images

I hearts my Gwen. I know Jay Harvey and I stand on two different sides of the Stefani fence, but our love for one another bridges that gap. And here she is, looking cute per usual, with her little munchkin in one arm, as she signs autographs with another. Loves it. However, Gwen's not feeling quite as gracious towards Forever 21, whom she claims is ripping off her Harajuku Lovers logo and using the likeness to sell their knock-off clothes. That said, the argument could also be made that Gwen herself is doing a little knocking off of the entire Harajuku movement tself and then the question remains as to where the line between inspiration and downright stealing needs to be drawn. Which, of course means that eventually, I'm going to get caught for basically doing a poor man's version of Tina Fey-meets-Sarah Silverman-meets-my mother. Sigh. It's only a matter of time...

Is she ok? Something's wrong. Is she running a fever? Are those contact lenses? I'm scared. The Daily Mail has pics of Courtney Love's lips looking like she's been smoking the scabies pipe or something. If she had an illness, she would have told us by now because she's a mouthy crazy. How come she looked so much better in the late 90's when she was at the Oscars and stuff? What was she doing then that she's not doing now? Someone help this poor bitch out!

Seriously. We're totally reporting that Paris Hilton went to the airport today. She was on her way to Frankfurt, Germany to attend a charity event. And, of course, she does raise a very important question with her outfit: Just because grown women can fit into tiny Bratz doll outfits, should they wear them? The answer, is no, of course. But that's assuming that we're talking about individuals with a lick of common sense. I do love that Paris' life seems to consist of a series of poses in motion, which I guess I should love, seeing as how all I do is WRITE ABOUT HER. Honestly, I hate myself so much right now.

David Beckham doesn't seem too concerned about the fact that his season with the L.A. Galaxy appears to be over due to ANOTHER injury. It's been pointed out that I don't know shit about soccer and only an ignoramus like me would be pissed off that this bitch just got a boatload of paper and played 1 1/2 games. Yes, I'm a layperson and a vapid troll loudmouth but if I just spent that much money on something - it had better deliver. It was like a gazillion dollars! You woulda thought he came down off the cross to kick the ball around! Bend it like you're fragile! Anyway, he says that he and Posh want more little future models.

On the possibility of more Beckhams:

At some point...When we first met, we never even spoke about how many kids we wanted. It was just lucky that we both actually wanted around the same number. We both want four or five kids...we're very family oriented.

On trying to have a girl this time around:

That's one thing I'll be trying -- changing my diet and wearing tight pants!"

What an obvious set-up this is. She can't read! Sources are saying that Lohan is acting the fool in rehab again. I don't know how accurate these reports are, seeing as she looked fairly serene and happy during her wilderness walk of last week and she did release that statement. Then again, how do you tell when a junkie's lying? Supposedly, she got caught doing drugs and getting after it in a bathroom stall. How unusual for her. That's not like Lindsay at all.

"Lindsay got called into the director's office on Aug. 15 and was questioned about drugs. When ordered to take a drug test, she reluctantly complied but screamed and cursed at the medical director before storming out the room. She was told that if she couldn't conform to the program she'd have to leave."

More photos of Lindsay Lohan getting her pose in in rehab after the jump.

The young actress and star of the hit series "Heroes" will be lending her face to the famous, "Got Milk?" print ad campaign. Hayden recently turned eighteen years old and will be photographed by famed celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz for the ad series. Are people still not drinking their milk like they should? I don't understand, don't they know it's good for them? Oh wait, maybe milk's a carb. I can't ever keep track of that stuff.

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The stars of "High School Musical" and "High School Musical 2: Electric Boogaloo" want to make bank if this shit goes to the silver screen. People I know are torn over that Efron kid's "Rolling Stone" cover. Some find it hot. Others find it a weird pose, and think he might have gotten a face lift. The jury's still out on that kid. He needs to stop wearing so much foundation, though. Less is more, trannie teen.

Disney honchos still plan to turn their made-for-TV hit "High School Musical" into a real movie, but they may have to do it without the TV version's major stars, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens. A tipster says Disney is "only offering them $1 million each. Zac and Vanessa aren't going to do it." A studio spokesperson told us, "We are still in negotiations with the entire cast, but we don't comment on the specifics of negotiations."

(Flynet)

Despite being jobless,Nicole Richie has a lot going on. She's got a baby to birth, a wedding to plan and a bid to do. That's a full day planner! Nicole's telling people that she doesn't think her and Joel will get married until after she gives birth to their anorexic baby with bad taste in music.

The Simple Life star, five months pregnant with her first child, is telling close friends that she and Joel Madden have decided to wait until after the birth to get hitched, E! Online has learned exclusively.

"She said she doesn't want the baby to one day grow up and think she and Joel rushed to get married just because she got pregnant," reveals a source close to the celebutante.

Lindsay Lohan hasn't been getting too much good news these days. So, I'm sure she was pretty thrilled to hear that she might not have to face felonies related to her recent DUI. Charges will be filed against La Lohan today and TMZ reports that they have been tipped off that a "strong possibility" exists that the Los Angeles D.A. will not be instating felony charges against the starlet. From TMZ:

Sources say the D.A. almost certainly will not file cocaine charges in connection with her DUI bust Memorial Day weekend in Beverly Hills.

As for her July 24 arrest in Santa Monica, the D.A. could charge her with felony cocaine possession, and bringing cocaine into a correctional facility -- also a felony. But we're told that the D.A. is inclined not to file those felony charges either.

Pretty soon she's gonna be splashing petrol on the comforter, and throwing a match while wearing a flannel shirt and a black eye. We've all seen this movie. Scary Spice defended her husband Stephen Belafonte on those past battering charges to Hello! magazine.

She told Hello! magazine: "They're trying to make him out to be this aggressive, violent, woman batterer and he's not. If you read those police reports, they never say he physically beat up a woman."

Stephen was spared jail but had to take part in a 'Domestic Violence Batterers' Programme'.

She added: "The only thing I don't like is that my friends and family read this and go into shock-horror mode, thinking, 'Oh, she's married a psychopath!'."

Mel admitted: "He hasn't been the best of people.

The Drama Continues After the Jump

So Oh No They Didn't has a leak of the new Annie Lennox song, "Sing". It features Madge. Hurry and listen before a bitch tells us to take down the link! It's not safe out here for thieves! Annie's also shacking up with a ton o' artists on her new offering. It also includes other artists like Dido, Céline Dion, Melissa Etheridge, Fergie, Beth Gibbons, Faith Hill, Angelique Kidjo, Beverley Knight, Gladys Knight, k.d. lang, Sarah McLachlan, Beth Orton,Pink, Bonnie Raitt, Shakira, Shingai Shoniwa, Joss Stone, Sugababes, KT Tunstall, and Martha Wainwright.

Actress Halle Berry has refuted reports that she is expecting her first child with her model beau Gabriel Aubury. In the middle of the current week, a US tabloid reported that the Oscar winner is pregnant. The reports also quoted a source as saying that Berry is 'happy' since she wanted a baby. "Halle is so happy right now. She's wanted a baby for so long,' the source said.However, the source also reveals that with the joy has come a very real fear due to the fact that Berry is a diabetic and the disease can cause complications during pregnancy, including risk of miscarriage, stillbirth and birth defects.And so, the insider revealed, the star was doing everything possible to make sure her baby is born healthy.
at the same time she's scared because she is very aware of the complications that having diabetes can cause during pregnancy," the source added.But, her rep has denied that report and said that it is 'not true'.

Troubled pop star Britney Spears was spotted making out with her personal assistant Shannon Funk during a topless romp in a swimming pool.

Though Spears ordered her people to clear the hotel pool area to be left alone, a hotel source said: "Even though the pool was closed, some people still saw them - and their jaws hit the floor. Britney seemed more into this girl than she has ever been into a guy."

Dailysnack.com quoted Spears' friend as saying: "Britney did get raunchy with the guys, but that was nothing compared to what she did with Shannon. Even though the hunks were hot, Britney made a beeline to cavort with Shannon. She seemed insatiable."Shannon's been a great pal to Britney through very tough times. It was inevitable they'd end up very close - but no-one knew just how close."
Friend also added that this was not the first time this has happened. They were caught cuddling and kissing in the street last month. Spears has most recently fired Shannon saying she was leading her astray

Having had recently shaved her head for a film role, Mena Suvari is rocking a buzz cut these days. The film for which Mena agreed to shed her lovely lady locks is "The Garden of Eden," based on a novel by Ernest Hemingway. I have to say that she gets serious kudos for sporting a look that for me would be a personal nightmare. In addition to walking around with a near cue-ball, doing so in a bikini takes a lot of balls, so I don't take too much offense to her sneaking in a flipped bird while getting her picture taken. If it were me in that position, I'd be aiming a gun.

Over the weekend, David Beckham greeted more than 66,000 eager soccer fans at Giants stadium in a game against the New York Red Bulls. Beckham required a police escort to accompany his black Cadillac Escalade through the streets of New York on his way to the stadium. Now that his ankle is finally allowing him to demonstrate the showmanship for which he has been paid a pretty penny by the L.A. Galaxy, Becks is getting the chance to give American audiences a taste of what he's capable of.

"It's just really great to see games like that, it's so good for the league," said FC Dallas assistant coach Oscar Pareja, watching from Houston, where his side plays Sunday. "A lot of goals. A lot of emotion. I think it was one of those games that a lot of people enjoy."

Once again Paris Hilton managed to bring L.A. to a halt yesterday as she turned up to the launch of her clothing line for Kitson. The former jailbird shut down roads in Beverly Hills and extra police had to be called in to manage the chaos. Paris arrived in a sequined gold dress (one of the pieces from her collection), suspicious orangey tan and did what she's most famous for - posed!

"It's a dream come true to have my own clothing line," she said. "It's just Paris style: fun, bright and flashy."

(Images courtesy of BuzzFoto.com)

Recently, you may have noticed that Paris Hilton is carrying children and wearing demure bathing suits and avoiding the clubs. What is this, you ask? Did prison change her for the better? Is she on a more meaningful path in life? Is she looking inward rather than seeking gratification from flashbulbs, threeways, and smoking giant blunts with her cokehead bitch posse? Actually, no. She realized that she needed some damage control after going to prison and  sought the help of a specila damage control-type PR firm.She's the same ole' Paris, but trying to fool our asses.

After Hilton's stint in jail, she abandoned longtime publicist Elliot Mintz for Sitrick, who's handled Ryan Phillipe, Rush Limbaugh and Naomi Campbell during their own scandals. Since then, in addition to dressing more like a classy socialite and avoiding late-night stumbles out of Hollywood clubs, Hilton - who now parties away from the cameras in her Malibu house - has stopped her longtime habit of chatting with photographers.